Lay Down With Me

Here I lie,

inhaling all of our memories at once
resulting in merciless onslaughts of head rushes
that come and go, like the ocean tide
each one ripping more of you from me
until I’m left here, naked
tattered and exhausted I am waiting for your arms

to reach out for me, shaking like junkies that litter these streets
just waiting for a fix
trying to shake off the disease
grains of sand are burning my eyes
as I try to see through the tears
are you still here, my love?
stranded on the island of mistakes, where wasted opportunity
washes ashore only to be picked off the beach
by criminals serving their community service hours

is this where we are now?
am I just as pathetic as the paper coffee cups
discarded to lie empty
on desolate pieces of pavement
on forgotten winter beaches
where only regret sticks around for meaningless small talk

I have filled my lungs with all of us
breathed in everything
even the left behind moments
and the awkward silence
allowed the words that went unsaid to hug me
as I lay here, tucked into my double bed
singularly, alone

sometimes I think I hear you breathing
right beside me
are you here, my love?
but disappointment cradles my head in her
long, lanky arms
whispers “it is only the wind”


Tearing at the fragile strings holding everything steady
fingerprints on irises
what was it you said as last night stomped out your cigarette
silhouetted, a lost boy with lover’s spit plastering your eyelashes closed
in a back alley of loneliness
where despair was found digging through the dumpster for something worth holding on to
was it the look on your face, of innocence and life and broken pieces
all mashed up together in the sea of your eyes
where I once let myself be free
let trust lead me to the forest of your secrets and your soul blinded
my abiding eyes, aiding the recovery of your heart
like it was an ancient artifact, gentle
with brushes and soft cloths to wipe away the dust
while the smoke bellowed from my lungs
my heart aflame by your fires that you let leak from your lips
and these fragile stings are blowing the wind
precociously holding everything in balance


Winter’s breath left us
searching for sunlight’s sweet escape
listening for one another’s heartbeat
blossoms compete for first bloom

and I
have lost you

look to new flowers
streams and flowing rivers to unthaw
tomorrow keeps me hopeful
that these strangers will stop pretending
to be you
and even more so
that I will stop believing them

Spinning Circles

The thing about circles is
they’re always repeating
endless repetition of lines drawn
with steady, or rapid hands
each fine or messy stroke a reminder
of what we leave behind
have left behind
while we simultaneously move forward
retracing, redrawing over times past
and with all this spinning, round and round
minds meld and puzzles lose pieces we once deemed essential
and here I lie, dizzy and sick with spinning circles
losing my mind, ironically unable to release the memories I have to let go


You pass another milestone
without realizing the confines
time has held you under
tangled in your promises
of dreams edging toward reality
where are we now
when the clock stops ticking
did it even make a difference,
our presence
or was it just a pre tense to how our
last moments were spent
under the clock
constant reminder that time is passing
and you right along with it

Faceless Life

She cries rivers before submitting
to night’s empty call
fear never letting her close her eyes

it never used to be so hard
when she trusted herself
before you broke her
took this fragile flower, crushed it beneath the weight of your solid body
breaking not her heart, but her belief in being worth breathing
stealing everything
rough marks on pale skin
your hands branded through bruises
deep beneath the surface
pain you could not imagine

do not touch her
do not look at her

she will always be a faceless life
you’ll never forget

and you, the first steps towards
inevitable demise.

Infinite Collapse

Somewhere deep inside of myself
are missing pieces
about with organs
tangled in viens
and arteries
trying to break free
of a rib cage that refuses to succumb
to their whispered pleas
my heart, ragged
raging unto itself
collapses infinitely
somewhere outside of myself
I hold onto my composition
ignoring the violin strings of pain
the drum beats of regret
listening to pleas
of broken pieces
knowing this is no longer home
for them, at least.

Dreaming of Broken Hearts

We lie here naked
spend time dreaming of broken hearts
beating right out of our chests
to land on sidewalks
beside dandelions growing
between cracks of cement
in the dark places secrets cry
I thought I heard yours tonight
could have sworn
it was you, looking through the stain glass
years passed through cloudy eyes
still day dreaming, staring into starless skies
where are the stars
stuck searching for red, bleeding supernovas
laid out pathways of pain
I will win you back
I will find you again

Only to extinguish

It’s the sound of the waves
that crest only to bow before the shores
of eroded rocks and pebbles
of beer bottle glass from drunk and lonely nights
it’s the smell of the rain
just before he falls
flat on his face
to smack the pavement
with such permanent and unwavering belief in himself
it’s the sight of stars
that shoot momentarily across our skies
streaking trails of light
leaving behind no traces of existence, only to extinguish
it’s the touch of the rising sun
as she holds her head up high
a striking beauty that shines
it’s these moments that tug and pull on my soul
that remind there are many reasons to breathe
many reason to believe.